Wednesday, September

Do Now:

• Take out your draft of your college essay.
• Consider your writing from an objective standpoint

Agenda:

Peer Editing: College Essay (1^st day of editing)

Name on paper:                                                         Your name:

1.) The essay... _____ (5) has a memorable story that captures the reader’s interest and attention _____ (4) has an okay story that needs more drama, interest, or suspense _____ (2) may be interesting to the writer but needs a more general spark to interest others. _____ (4) has a intriguing, insightful reflection clearly connected to the narrative _____ (2) has a reflection part but it seems forced or has no original insights. _____ (0) has no reflection

2.) The narrative part is... _____ (5) is well-paced. Each event is given the right amount of time. Less important aspects are summarized quickly while more important aspects are described with descriptive detail. _____ (3) takes too long to get to its climax _____ (3) arrives at climax too quickly _____ (2) has a first sentence that awakens the reader _____ (1) has an average first sentence

3.) The second section of the body paragraphs... _____ (4) continues the story by telling the effects of the main event and starts reflecting on it. _____ (3) starts reflecting on the story but stops telling it. _____ (1) continues the story by focusing on the effects but doesn’t reflect on it.

4.) The conclusion... _____ (3) seems thoughtful, fresh, insightful, and interesting. _____ (1) seems a bit too predictable. _____ (4) includes insightful explanation of the significance of the narrative and leaves the reader with something to think about. _____ (3) includes explanation of the narrative and gives a predictable final thought. _____ (0) ends the story but never talks about its significance.

5.) The last part of the essay... _____ (2) has a strong clincher _____ (1) could use a stronger hook _____ (0) leaves the reader hanging

6.) The essay contains words that (check all that apply)... _____ (5) have great examples of imagery and descriptive writing _____ (3) uses clichés or other predictable language. _____ (3) uses strong sensory descriptions _____ (2) uses average sensory descriptions (suggest improvements) _____ (3) has great verbs that are very descriptive and specific _____ (1) contains average verbs including is, are, get/got, have/has, am/are.

7.) The essay has... _____ (3) clear organization that is easy to follow. _____ (2) organization that sometimes makes random jumps or confuses the reader. _____ (0) confusing organization. _____ (2) separate paragraphs for each idea. _____ (0) seems to need more paragraph breaks.

8.) Mark any “to be” verb (am, is, are, were, was, be, being, been, become, became) and check the correct box. ______ (5) The essay uses less than five of them. ______ (4) The essay uses 6-7 of them.

______ (3) The essay uses 8-9 of them.. ______ (0) The essay uses more than 10 of them.

Now start making suggestions to move their essay up to a higher point section. 

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